Lent 2008
The Sorrowful Mysteries - 2

1. Intro To and In The Garden

O righteous Father, the world has not known thee, but I have known thee; and these know that thou hast sent me. I made known to them thy name, and I will make it known, that the love with whic h thou hast loved me may be in them, and I may be in them."

When Jesus had spoken these words, he went forth with his disciples across the Kidron valley, where there was a garden, which he and his disciples entered. - St John 18 & 19


I will begin this Lenten series with a confession. I am recycling a Lenten Series after 7 years. It is not that you didn't hear or read that series on the Sorrowful Mysteries. It's something quite different. Here, in this special place, we live the Sorrowful Mysteries. We see them acted and replicated at ever turn of the corridor. They are played out among us.

Having said hat, it is easy to say, "that's a bit theatrical! Start handing out the academy awards for Best Dramatic Suffering!" I would, except for one thing. There is joy here. There are smiles. There is something that's a bit different. Look, we've all seen places where people are "cared for" and they are not like here. What's the difference? Here's a hint: it's not the food, the religious art or the location. It's the Sorrowful Mysteries among us. And this Lent, I ask you see them not as a religious truth somewhere out there. I ask you to pray them as something more familiar.

One liberty I am taking is a concentration on the 1st - the Agony in the Garden. We have so many opportunities to look at the other four throughout the season of lent and especially on Good Friday. This event in the Garden is our great embarrassment. We mark it in the Liturgy only once by walking away from in silence from the Eucharistic respository on Holy Thursday. Like the sleeping disciples, we say nothing. The Night Watch passes without liturgy or rituals. Maybe it is too horrifying or too empty for us. But that darkness is an invitation. Let me give an example. If you fall through the ice and look up, you need to find the dark spot above since this darkness is the same hole - through the translucent ice - you fell through. I know, I know. This is the type of silly information I pick up along the way! In distress, we are to look for what doesn't make sense to our panic. We are told to embrace what seems the opposite of what we are looking for.

And this is precisely the invitation of Gethsemane. In the distress of life, in the difficulties, we are invited not to run away but to go in and through. So we enter Gethsemane this Lent. And it is there, in the Garden, that we find the darkness - as well as the Lord of light. We go there not simply because God is everywhere but because God is actually there, praying as us, with us, and for us.

Let's begin by going there. The Passover is finished and they are walking through the streets of Jerusalem. Masked by the darkness of the night, they move along as a group guided by the dim lit coming from the other houses filled with folks finishing their Passovers. They hear the Psalms they just sang. The smell the lamb dinners and hear the banging of plates and pots as the meals finish. As they descend, those sounds grow quieter and more distant. They cross a stream with the massive walls of the Holy City shrinking behind them. They cross the small Kidron Valley and head up a small rise to the olive grove. They are following Jesus who is rather quiet. They whisper about the strange things He did with the matzoth and the last cup of blessing. And what was all that talk of death and love and - hey - where is Judas? They get to the gate and He takes those three (it's always them, isn't it!) and they go farther amid the olive trees and brush. There's a big rock they left sticking up and Jesus throws Himself on it and starts praying. The Passover feast (and the wine) are starting to take their toll and they start dozing. After all, it is dark and it is night.

Let's stop there. Let's begin with the darkness. Since we were children, we have a fear or at least a caution of the darkness. Without light, we are not sure where things are. We cannot distinguish and negotiate without contrast. We have trouble identifying what's around us. Without colors to show us, it's all a little murky. We have good reason to fear the darkness. Try stumbling around you rooms here at Jeanne Jugan in the middle of the night!

The darkness is real. Obviously, we're not considering just the darkness of our eyes. We also face the darkness of the soul. Only the foolish or deluded deny it is there.

The darkness of the soul is the horrifying emptiness that none of this will end well. It is a numbing concern that all we go through, all the pains, discomforts and inconveniences, will amount to nothing. It is the taunting murmur that God isn't looking or that He doesn't even exist. Our senses tingle with alert that we will never see beyond the bleak prospects of our worst fears.

The world around us seems to give in to so readily and live as if it will never strike. But like the rapidly darkening smoke from the Towers on that sad day, the soul desperately and reluctantly admits it is there. All the pleasures, luxuries and lies of modern life are of no avail. And most people grow quiet as the darkness envelopes them. Soon, however, humanity lights its own flames of false hope and we comfort ourselves with platitudes. We tell each other we'll pull through or get over it. We tell ourselves that we will find the right concoction or the correct attitude and all will be good as new. And when the childish attempts to re-make reality finally fail, the darkness is still there.

Is all this depressing? It sure is. I'm describing a very hopeless life. But there is one thing and it makes the deepest difference. It was this very darkness, this fearful despair, that Jesus Christ encountered on the rock. As He saw everything that would happen the next day, He embraced the horror we commemorate in these mysteries because the only way this darkness could be banished was to face it. In His Divinity, Jesus saw our darkness through His Humanity. He claimed the starlight of Bethlehem we fondly sing on Christmas as He prayed on this night.

We are celebrating Jesus as the redeemer. Yes, He came to bring hope. Yes, He came to preach peace. But He is redemption itself. And our darkness, by His graced Incarnation, became His and He redeemed it. The darkness that started in a Garden was ended in one. The sorrow of this mystery is light for ours.



2. The Garden Prayer

Then Jesus went with them to a place called Gethsem'ane, and he said to his disciples, "Sit here, while I go yonder and pray." And taking with him Peter and the two sons of Zeb'edee, he began to be sorrowful and troubled. Then he said to them, "My soul is very sorrowful, even to death; remain here, and watch with me." And going a little farther he fell on his face and prayed, "My Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me; nevertheless, not as I will, but as thou wilt." And he came to the disciples and found them sleeping; and he said to Peter, "So, could you not watch with me one hour? Watch and pray that you may not enter into temptation; the spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak." Again, for the second time, he went away and prayed, "My Father, if this cannot pass unless I drink it, thy will be done." And again he came and found them sleeping, for their eyes were heavy. So, leaving them again, he went away and prayed for the third time, saying the same words
. St. Matthew 26.36-44

Even Peter, James, and John are falling asleep. It is late; it is dark. The cool spring breeze is gently blowing through the olive trees. Jesus is still praying. Something is very wrong. He looks like He’s been fighting and His face is red. He’s clearly talking with Some one but it seems like a one-sided argument. But one thing He says over and over is: “Father, thy will be done.” He gets up occasionally to go over to His sleeping friends. He knew they couldn’t help it but couldn’t they at least be more than asleep at a time like this? At a certain point, the struggle stops. He grows calm and says those words again, but differently. “Thy will be done” now sounds more like a plan than a prayer. His face is more peaceful. The agonizing contortions have vanished. He stands up.

What happened here?

As Jesus sees in His soul the sin of all time committed by human beings, from the first to the last, He also sees every detail of Good Friday. He sees the purest innocence sacrificed for the careless iniquity. He is presented the prospect of pain and that singularly unique position of being the priest, the altar and the sacrifice all rolled into one.

And yes, even as God and as Man, He prays this prayer over and over. Was something wrong here? Has our theology made a mistake? How could a perfect God say a prayer multiple times when once would have been enough? Didn’t He say that we should not go on and on like the pagans who thought that the mere multiplication of works would gain them divine access?

But this is no mere multiplication of words. This was humanity’s finest hour. And a moment like this never comes without struggle.

For the worst of human nature to be redeemed by the best, we needed something radical. We needed our weakest to be transformed by a greater. In His sacred humanity that was what Jesus did in the Garden. It was the struggle to bring the ego and desires and faults of humanity into line with the Divine will. And it did not go easily into that dark night. It rebelled and screamed in the heart of Jesus like a mad dog being pulled away. It pouted and resisted like a child getting a shot. It fought – literally – like hell itself. But grace won that battle. Grace said that there was another story to be written. And this time, it was going to be written in the Blood of the Lamb.

The first Adam was redeemed by the second Adam. Now the sacrifice was prepared and intended. And only the fullness of Adam could be properly offered. In subjecting the human will to the Father’s, it was ready.

We know that struggle. We know how difficult it is to accept the Father’s will. And even when we learn how good God is to us, we rebel. Case in point: some one I know missed his train one morning because his kids left some toys in the driveway. Because he had to clear the way, he missed his train, his meeting and never made it to his office in Tower 1. Years later, I asked him if he gets mad when he’s late. He said ‘yes’ and we both shook our heads and laughed.

There is no one – saint or sinner – who accepts the Father’s will without struggle. Jesus brought that sad fault to light in the darkness of the Garden. And the mystery of this event, the grace of this offering, is that in our struggle we find hope in Christ. We know by faith that our own difficulties with and out-right refusal of the Father’s will has been redeemed. Our battles are traced in the war Christ fought and won in Gethsemane.

As we pray this mystery, we are praying for the courage to fight. We are cautioned to be resolute as well as to be understanding. We are never to be harder on ourselves than God would ever be on us. The compassion of Gethsemane is that our God is straggling with us. Rebellious as our will can be, we are in this fray with the one who has already conquered. We find the ultimate victory in the One who accepted what we think is ultimate defeat.

So we stand before God and His holy will. We stand with resistance and rebellion as we say in faith, “Thy will be done.” And saying it like that is His will for us.

3. Christ, the Derelict

While Jesus was still speaking, Judas came, one of the twelve, and with him a crowd with swords and clubs, from the chief priests and the scribes and the elders. Now the betrayer had given them a sign, saying, "The one I shall kiss is the man; seize him and lead him away under guard." And when he came, he went up to him at once, and said, "Master!" And he kissed him. And they laid hands on him and seized him. But one of those who stood by drew his sword, and struck the slave of the high priest and cut off his ear. And Jesus said to them, "Have you come out as against a robber, with swords and clubs to capture me? Day after day I was with you in the temple teaching, and you did not seize me. But let the scriptures be fulfilled." And they all forsook him, and fled.. – St. Mark14. 43-50

From outside the low walls of the garden there is a rustling and the soft clanging of steel. The wind is fanning the soldiers’ torches and sending sparks into the night air. In the cold orange glow, a figure steps forward, approaches Jesus and embraces Him. There is a scuffle and a bit of shouting. A servant is hit and healed without much notice. Everyone is focused on the two characters. Judas is shaking with anticipation. All of his political dreams of Israel’s liberation from the Romans were about to come true. Jesus is majestic in His resolve to face this little mob. His is a nobility hidden by the darkness of the night. As they finally get the courage to take Him, the soldiers, really nothing more than security guards, notice that the others who were with him seemed to have disappeared under the cover of the olive trees. But no matter. They were not here for them. They were here for Him. Mission accomplished.

On Holy Thursday, after the Eucharist has been brought to the Altar of Repose, something happens at the main Altar. The modern rite calls for the sanctuary decorations and appointments to be removed. In the older rite, something far more profound was done. In darkness, a choir sang Psalm 51 and the Altar was stripped of candles and linens and such. Then a bucket of water and olive oil was brought with a whisk and the Altar was cleansed. The darkness, the chant and the sound of the whisking was…well, creepy. It was known as the Desolation or the Dereliction of the Altar. Liturgically. It made an impact on the senses because it something the soul knows all too well.

It is the experience of being left alone. It is what the spiritual masters call Abandonment. And the experience, though not the reality, is not limited to human beings.

We all know that there are some friends who are like shadows. In sunlight, they are always there. But when things grow dark, they disappear. No night, no friends could have been more like the shadows of Jesus’ disciples. They felt fear, they were weak. And they saw over their shoulders, the One they had just abandoned standing there all alone. They were helpless and worse, they knew that it didn’t matter if they had stayed. The outcome would have been the same. But that was never important. It never is.

A derelict is literally some one who has no one and nowhere to go. Christ appears in this Mystery to be a derelict. Alone and sad, He “looked around for consolers, and found none.” The disciples felt this too. They were made to feel empty by their own actions. Personally I cannot think of a more tragic and sad scene in all the Bible. But it is one which we pray because it a scene which happens constantly in our life. In all the gardens, we can so easily see ourselves as Jesus abandoned, the disciples fleeing or the crowd observing.

We all know these emotions. We have all seen them in our families, friends, parishes, and communities. Our hearts break when we see it happening to others. We sometimes even dare to imagine what others go through as they are left alone in the midst of sickness or calamity. We are all too aware of how painful we have felt this when we are left alone. But we still go forward, we still step into this empty place and bring this profound sadness to prayer. This is the prayer of dereliction. It is a prayer of complaint, of anger, of horror. We cry “it is not fair” even if we are the ones who are doing the abandoning.

But there is an even deeper fear. We begin to feel and think and even believe that we are abandoned by God. We start to think that in a capricious turn of the Divine will that God has chosen to forget us. And this is very hard because we have to rely on faith alone in these dark nights and days. We can and do, in these trying moments, identify with Christ the Derelict standing alone in the darkness of the Garden. Without the consolations of feeling the Presence of God, we find ourselves standing there with God.

When we pray the Agony, we identify with Jesus, the disciples and the on-lookers. It is a Mystery which seeks to redeem this darkness in everyone’s life. It tries, without answering, to make sense of the situation. And like Christ, it gives strength to the one who prays it to continue. Like the disciples, it gives the grace of repentance and of making amends. Like the on-lookers, it gives the clarity of vision to see the pain of others.

And here is the greatest fruit of this Mystery. It is an act of faith. It prays, and thus affirms, that Christ is never truly alone. It proclaims that those who suffer in solitude are never ultimately abandoned. And it speaks gently to our hearts that we are never truly derelicts who have no place in the mercy of God. In a sometimes heartless world when and where things and people are estranged and neglected, the light of those soldiers’ torches illuminates the truth of faith: God is with us. While more may be appreciated, none else. is needed. Emmanuel, the Derelict, is with us.

4. Points of Pain: The Scourging and Crowning with Thorns

Then Pilate took Jesus and scourged him. And the soldiers plaited a crown of thorns, and put it on his head, and arrayed him in a purple robe; they came up to him, saying, "Hail, King of the Jews!" and struck him with their hands. Pilate went out again, and said to them, "See, I am bringing him out to you, that you may know that I find no crime in him." So Jesus came out, wearing the crown of thorns and the purple robe. Pilate said to them, "Behold the man!" – St. John 19.1-5

All through the night Jesus is led from official to official, from trial to trial. Through it all, He says little. There is no point. Since the Garden it is clear to Him what must happen according to the Father’s will. Pilate is the worst. While Herod may have been lacking in intelligence and the priests may have been petty, Pilate was just cruel. He never wanted this assignment and let everyone know it. And it wasn’t as if the cream of the crop was sent to the garrison either. The soldiers lived in constant fear of insurrection from these zealots. Why couldn’t they be like so many other countries under Rome? Some even welcomed the improvement in life Rome offered. But not here. Not in this dirty and dusty place where they claimed God lived among men. What kind of god would live here?

Pilate makes a decision. To placate the priests, he orders Jesus scourged. Without question, this was the most sticking scene in Mel Gibson’s Passion of the Christ. In fact, few can watch the scene without turning away at some point. It was historically based on actual evidence of Roman history. This is what they did and it was done to be visually shocking, unforgettable and perhaps even fatal. Maybe Pilate thought it would be enough for them. So off Jesus goes. The soldiers go at it until their arms are tired. Jesus Himself is limp with blood loss and pain. And to add to it, the soldiers are furious that their morning has been interrupted with all this because Jesus said He was a king. “So let’s make Him one.” They twist the thorns into a helmet and slam it on Him. They dress Him up with a robe and scepter and humiliate Him. Pilate sends the order to bring Him back in. Their game is over.

So this is how we treat a king. This is the way we acknowledge the Second Person of the Holy Trinity. This is fallen humanity’s genuflection to the Son of God. Images and acting can never fully grasp what happened here. It is merely pathetic. I think that is why all the Gospel writers do not go into detail. In that world they didn’ t need to. But we enter into these Mysteries because they resonate with our life. We enter into prayer as we encounter these events because we are following the royal road of the Cross. And we pray them because they are not foreign to us.

Rarely do we see ourselves in the place of Christ. We are a little more familiar with the place of the soldiers. We see the price of our sins. Not that we are comfortable with this, but we know it is true.

To see that there is healing and it is to see redemption. Isaiah had said “by his stripes we are healed.” It is in each stripe drawn by the soldiers that morning where we find healing. It is in the mortification of Jesus’ body that we find salvation from the sins of each day. But here is the greater mystery: In praying this, we unite our small sufferings with Christ at the Pillar. We are healed and strengthened by His suffering and find that we are sanctified in our own. Praying this mystery begins to make sense of our own “whips and scorns of outrageous fortune.” It is easy to be a martyr, to ultimately follow in the way of the Cross. It is another matter to daily see all the small things as part of the road to holiness.

But there is more. It is not only through the offering and uniting that we are made holy. There is another step. It is the path of humility.

Of all the Christian virtues, this is the least understood and appreciated. Coming from the Latin word meaning “dirt”, a humiliation is something that brings us to that level. We naturally avoid it at all costs and instinctively fight it. But it is unavoidable. And so we look to Jesus, scourged and enthroned as they place the thorns on His head.

Humility is the central virtue. Without it, none of the other virtues make sense or work. It means to acknowledge, as far as we are able, who we truly are in the sight of God, others and ourselves. Plagued by the self-delusion that sin can cause, we often attempt to build up a self which does not necessarily exist. And like a sand castle, the waves of reality knock us down. Humility is the strength to say who we are and who we are not.

Now in this mystery we see Jesus humiliated. We see Him encountering how faithless humanity sees Him: a joke. But there is nothing funny in His life or ours about humiliations. They bring us down, and not just emotionally. The grace of these Mysteries is the vision to see them as an opportunity.

Some pray for humility. Others pray for the grace to accept the humiliations life offers. Essentially, they are the same. I prefer the language of the second. Humility grows more by acceptance than by action. By them, we are taught more than what we teach ourselves. We pray this Mystery so that we have the gift of seeing ourselves through the lens of humiliations. To accept the limits, mistakes, and even the sins of life as an invitation to knowing more than we naturally could about ourselves is to find healing.

These Mysteries are united. By knowing our truest need for healing, we find it in the redemption of Christ. It offers us a place in our lives where the hurts, pains, sorrows and weaknesses of life can be redeemed even if not understood. A religion without the praetorium courtyard is a false faith. We each need that place where life can be encountered in all of its brutality and embarrassment. In praying these decades, we accept the invitation of God to enter within ourselves and encounter the scourges and humiliations of life. Don’t be afraid. Don’t get caught up in the moment and forget that these are the stripes by which we are healed. Don’t be so taken by the embarrassment of our sins that we fail to see the weak child God so deeply loves. And most of all, rejoice that the One who underwent all this for us has risen above what happened here.

And so shall we.

5. The Carrying of the Cross: Jesus Falls

Your anger weighs down upon me:
I am drowned beneath your waves.
I call to you, Lord, all the day long;
to you I stretch out my hands. - Psalm 88

Sometime that morning, Pilate caved in. Weakened and struggling, Jesus is led under an arch. They take His arms and tie them to a cross beam with a notch carved in back. They are not gentle about it. They are still mad that they will have to go through the Passover crowds with this charlatan who some in the crowd believe is a king. The cross slams into the back of Jesus’ head with its helmet of thorns. It is 700 yards to the place and most of it down hill. They can see how weak He is. Did those two have to go so hard on Him when they scourged Him? As they move out, their swords are drawn and the crowds gather. This was a public lesson with a shocking message. The crowds are small today. Most of them seem to be hurrying about getting ready for that lamb dinner these ‘one-god-only people’ are having tonight. But there are those who look as if the hope of the world is passing by. The soldiers see He is really struggling with the patibullum. They wonder if He realizes that it is a strange mercy that He is so weak. Better now than on the cross. He keeps stumbling and falling. The captain finally grabs a guy from the crowd to hold up the cross-beam from behind. It helps a little. As they move down the hill and leave the city, they come to the garbage dump where the other two are already hanging and twisting. They’ve had busier days. The governor had crucified more on a single day than these three. Near that little hill, there is a group of woman who are really getting hysterical. He actually says a few words to them before He falls exhausted at the foot of the upright beam. Now they have to do the hard part.

Until Mel Gibson’s Passion of the Christ, we had really cleaned up the Way of the Cross. The Scriptures do not describe much about it. It is not a journey the Apostles were even there for. Remember, they ran away. They had to be told about it later by those who were there. John finally showed up and what must have struck him is that it was Jesus who was carrying His own cross. He probably saw that finally fall and collapse. No, today we have a noble and clean Jesus gently carrying a toothpick cross behind Him. And tradition has given Him three falls under the gentle weight of the Cross. But deep down, with a little imagination, we know that it was so much more. It was not a pretty scene.

We have seen people working around the house carrying loads too heavy for us. We see workmen moving furniture and construction materials with their heads and eyes downcast in the effort not to drop it. Far less dramatic, we may have carried bags through the airport and felt that we had just climbed Mt. Everest. But this was different. This was the Son of God. This is the One who was carrying the weight of all the sins of human history on His bruised and bloody shoulders.

How could we expect Him not to fall? How could we not see a struggle? We say that He “walked” the Via Dolorosa, the Way of the Cross. Walking is not what I would call it. Pushed, prodded, tripping, and falling is more accurate. And all the while, most of the crowds ignored it. Or at least they hoped that the spectacle would move on. None of us likes a traffic jam - especially during the holiday season.

By why is this a Mystery and why do we pray it? How could we not, even if more out of devotion than identification? It clearly captured the piety and imagination of generations of Christians from early on and has continued into almost every Church and chapel to this day. Most of the time, we choose to see Jesus being crushed by the heaviness of our sins. But what if we saw deeper into the obvious. We are, after all, the ones He calls to follow in His steps. We are the ones to whom He said: “Unless you daily pick up the cross and follow Me, you cannot be my disciples.”

Simply put, Jesus falls. No other gesture in life says “weakness” like a fall. Every Sister, nurse or aide here is on the watch that we don’t. Our corridors have rails all over to insure our safety. Falling is a movement from strength to frailty. It is means a giving in, though not necessarily a giving up. It ends the illusion that we are super-human. It says that we are not in control. And we hate it.

But all of us fall. As children, we can only learn to walk by repeated tumbling. We learn to ride a bike by taking a few spills. And as we get older, we take steps to avoid falls. But it happens. And not just physically.

When we fall morally or spiritually, we experience that same weakness in our souls. We realize that we are far from perfect and even farther from being strong. And for most of us, this is not a once, twice or thrice event. It is not a cleaned-up spiritual image. It is a hard and painful reality of daily life for those who, following in the Master’s steps, stubbles. Do we, then, have the right to be surprised or even offended that we too would fall? Do we pretend that the weight of our fallen natures would be less for us than the One who carried ours to Calvary? How could we not pray this Mystery if we honestly appreciate the mystery of Redemption?

But here is the truth of this Mystery. We see in the example of Christ, and of our own graced experience, that we have to rise again, we have to get up when we fall. The child who falls and never rises never learns to walk. Nor does that child focus on the fall. Yes, we fall in so many ways and so many times. We all know the weight of guilt and habit. And we often feel alone in this struggle since like Christ’s own Way, people around us seem to go about dong what they always do. But we have a goal and we are on a journey.

“Lift us up strong Son of God” we pray today. Help us to see that Your grace is strongest in our weakness. Let our souls fall into Your peace even as we stubble through this valley of tears. Take from us the arrogance of pretended strength and give us the humility of heavenly Providence. Teach us to walk as You did by holding our hands firmly as we fall. Take the pitfalls and potholes we fall into each day and make them hills and mountains of discipleship. Lift us up, strong Son of God as You were, both now on way of the cross and up to the glory of heaven. Amen.

6. The Death of Jesus: I commend my spirit.


You have laid me in the depths of the tomb,
in places that are dark, in the depths:
like one alone among the dead;
like the slain lying in their graves;
like those you remember no more,
cut off, as they are, from your hand. - Psalm 88


What a scene. While the townsfolk are running around getting things ready for the Passover, while the Roman soldiers are getting bored, while the few who remained faithful watched, Jesus is dying. A storm comes in and things begin to grow dark. Some earth-shaking bolts of lightning cause a few to look up. But one is noticing something strange about the day. A soldier stands there and sees this young man being executed. Jesus, as His mother’s only son, entrusts her to the care of a younger man who seemed to be one of His followers. He even promised paradise to one of the others hanging there. But to forgive was more than he had ever seen. And there had been a lot of these crucifixions since Pilate got into office. In the late afternoon, this criminal seemed to look off in the distance and gave something to some one He called “Father.” A few minutes later, after a splitting cry, He seemed to relax and died.

So now we have come to the end. It is the central moment of the Stations of the Cross. In the Fordham University Church, this station is a carved wood panel which is different from most others. It is not just a cross with Mary and John. Instead, when you view it, you see it from a distance, standing slightly behind yet amid the crowd. And I think that this is the only way each of us really can view Good Friday. For our own sakes, we must be a little removed. As you may have experienced while viewing the Passion of the Christ, the reality is too much.

As we feel the crushing weight of life’s tragedies, we squirm and get uncomfortable. As we see what the Cross really is in our lives, it loses the ornamentation which so often covers its brutality. Like Jesus fastened and fettered to it, we also feel trapped and helpless. And at the hour when we know we can do no more, we finally come to the intersection that is the cross: We come to the place of faith.

“Father, into Thy hands I commend my spirit.” This is the ultimate priestly act of Christ. He offers it all to the Father who accepts it. Salvation is won by His losing. Victory is achieved by His defeat. Life is gained by His death. And so the awesome paradox of the cross is shown in His silhouetted body hanging in the dark of the gathering storm clouds while salvation pours out on all humankind.

And it is into this Mystery that we enter. We pray the paradox of the cross not because it is merely an object of wonder; we pray it because we often are called to live it. It is that strange set of contradictions we find each day. A God of love who permits evil. A person of faith who cannot forgive. A soul who longs for God yet is never free of sin. A body which is a consecrated Temple of God falling apart and ravaged by illness. A paradox is not a puzzle. It is not something that has an easy answer or simple solution. It is a reality with which we must live. But far more importantly than just acknowledging it to be a part of life, much like death and taxes, there is something profound in the example of Christ which is the call of holiness. It is the action by which we transcend the paradox of the cross and find redemption in sanctity. We hand over our life to the Father. There is nothing more we can do and nothing less we need to offer.

The cross in our life is often so close to us that we can look around rather than at it. It is the pain of our family’s sufferings, it is the terror of loss, it is the hell of sinful habits, it is the persistent weakness of character and soul and body. But ultimately, the cross is our life in paradox with our experience of grace and mercy.

How can we honestly compare what we go through to what Jesus endured? How dare we? Well, we can. We should. And we must. Jesus was quite clear about the cross. He told us to take it up but never for its own sake. He told us to follow Him with it, never to go our own way. The cross without Christ make no sense. At worst, it is a meaningless torture. No God of love could ever call us to the cross without a graced-reason. And no experience of the Christian faith could honestly define God’s mercy without it. So how then, in imitation of Jesus, how do we hand over our lives as Christ did? How do we pray this mystery in our very real lives in following the Master?

We begin by seeing the cross and we must be clear about it. We cannot sugar-coat our pain or suffering. Not that suffering in itself is ever good, but God generously gives us a particular grace. We begin to perceive that it is something permitted by the mercy and will of God. I doubt if we - as fallen human beings - would ever be able to figure this out in a single moment of prayer. Instead, coming to the cross is something that has to be a daily procession, a thing in progress, a continual maturing of faith. And once we begin to see the cross, we move to realizing how truly powerless we are before it. Like Christ, we are literally fastened to it and unable to move. It was when Christ couldn’t move that He did the most.

And then we begin to die to self. We begin that hardest death of all, the death of the ego, with fear and stress. But looking to Jesus, we begin to hand it over to the Father. His prayer becomes ours as we, to quote those in AA, begin to “let go and let God.” If there is ever a true cross-centered spirituality out there, it is the 12 Steps. It encapsulates the handing over of everything to God. We make it an offering of praise to Him. As salvation was won for the world by His act, our sanctification is furthered by ours. That is why we end the day at Night Prayer with Jesus’ own prayer of commendation.

But each of us must discover, by the provident hand of God, how we will join in this chorus. Trust in God”, as Jesus told us the night before He went through all this. The Father did not ignore the tears of His Son. Why could we think that He would not see us? Hand this struggle to give your life and your crosses over to Him. It will be in this dying that we will find the way to truth and life.

When we follow Lent, when we follow the Way of the Cross, we start to instinctively embrace the reality of life and hand it over to the Father. This what these Sorrowful Mysteries have been about. As we journey through Lent and on to life, we are strengthened by the embrace of God even as we move from light to darkness and struggle, in the midst of loneliness, to accept the will of the Father. By sharing in His own pain and humbly bowing before the mystery of sharing in His cross, we state that we also were made for the joy and glory of Easter. Many who are in this purgative state of life find the Easter joy to be a very distant anthem. But it is still there, and it “strains on the ear the distant triumph song.”

May the days and years you pray the Sorrowful Mysteries of the Rosary give you the grace to embrace what you pray and lead you to the eternity of heaven.