Really?

A Media Awareness Presentation
Father Robert Dunn

I am very happy to be doing this presentation to parents at this time of the year when so many things are beginning. What I would really like to do is trap the parents for a couple of hours in this room, kick out the kids, and lock the doors. I would then – on a large screen – give an overview of some songs, lyrics and videos that your children watch or will watch. It would be a night to remember.

Why am I doing what I can at this meeting?

Several years ago, I was driving up to the Church and the second grade was entering. I had downloaded the song 1985 but had not heard the first verse. As the music came out of my car, but the children were still far enough away, I heard this verse:

She was gonna be an actress
She was gonna be a star
She was gonna shake her &@!
On the hood of Whitesnake’s car.

As I turned off the car, I swore that this would never happen again nor would there be the possibility of it happening again. That day, I converted to country music.

Like most of you, I remember the beginnings of the MTV and all the buzz surrounding such lightning rods as Madonna and Nirvana. I don’t believe that pop and rap is Devil’s Music – well in general. I am not prudish or easily shocked. And I am not 9 or 10 either.

I understand the concern and there is reason to be concerned. Look around.

Over the summer, I notice there is a degeneration of the use of the word ‘dam’ (misspelled intentionally) . It is now an accepted part of prime time TV. This year, it is even being used as God’s last name without being censored. Like a slowly boiling pot of water, there are small changes that keep getting hotter. We are bathed in images without consequences when it comes to violence, sex, drugs, etc. – many we are not aware of.

And there are real dangers out there – you’re not paranoid – there are more than we were their age.

What are the areas of concern?

I am going to concentrate this talk on pop, rap and so-called alternative music. We can leave movies, TV and especially unrestricted use of the Internet to another night.

One side note: A parent who allows their child to have a high-speed internet connection in the bedroom or on the cell phone would save the family money if they just gave the kid $100 and sent them to Bangkok for two weeks. You can quote me on that.

Music: What Are Those Whipper-Snappers Listening To?

Obviously, bad language has been and is a concern. I have to admit that I have grown a bit jaded to it use. I also admit that I have a slight problem with – as one parent called it – ‘potty mouth’ in my more unguarded moments. But I am 39, not 9.

The truth be told, bad language sells. The more it is used, the better it sells. Technically it is supposed to shock but doesn’t it wear thin? We grow used to it.

The music industry responded by sticking warning labels on CD’s and inserting bleeps or silence in supposedly ‘clean’ versions. But come on: Few pay attention to stickers and no child buys a euphemism. Cleaned up is still dirty.

Remember also that we are the video generation. We grew up fascinated by the advent of MTV and joined Dire Straits in pleading that we wanted our MTV. Do not separate the song from the show. If the image looks like porn, you’re not old-fashioned; you’re right. It is porn and it’s everywhere.

In fact, the video is saying something about the group or the song. So what is being said by the image? Look for the subtext that is always there. For example, from the pre-video generation, remember what we thought “Yummy yummy I’ve got love in my tummy’ meant? Remember how we were told that it was about a candy or chocolate bar? Well guess what – it didn’t! It’s what we whispered as teens whenever we heard it. At least that’s what one of the band members finally admitted.

So be shocked by the words, be startled by the image but be scared by the whole package. An angry and depressed teen singer who thinks the world should revolve around them – and looks it – is what they are communicating. They could be singing Barney’s Greatest Hits but that is not what they mean.

What to Do

This is not a question – there must be action in the age of my beloved iPods and MP3 watches.

First: Know what is at the top of the charts BE AWARE. When your kids are not around, watch the Top 20Countdowns, TRL, and all the rest. If you don’t have the time for this because of all your kid’s activities, cancel one of them.

Second: Become savvy with the sites that cater to popular pre-teen culture. Usually the networks have their own sites filled with volumes of delightful documents, lists, and images.

Third: Engage the media together. Say nothing first and watch the videos and the video shows together - that’s right watch TRL with your kids. Listen to their mix CD’s in the car. Discuss it so the child can see what is right and wrong in video or song, Let them say it rather than command it. We are dealing here with much longer than a couple of months. As educators, your job is to teach your kids how to encounter the world based on the values of the Gospel. “Because I said so” only lasts as long as they hear you saying it.

Remember we are dealing with the seeds of teenage rebellion. You don’t want to fertilize it with prohibitions.

A side-note on headphones: A generation is growing up plugged in. They are passively receiving stimuli from video games, TV, etc. In other words, there are no other words. They say – verbally – very little. Headphones facilitate this increasing isolation. There are private times and public times (tell that to chronic cell phone users!). Car time to and from events and activities are NOT private times.

Headphones may be considered inappropriate in common. Limit their use as a private listening devise in their own space. I find it amusing that over the years I have noticed kids who are surgically connected to their headphones or ear buds are also the kids not doing well on their verbal scores. And who is to blame? Well the teacher of course!!!! Kids who are raised unable to hold a conversation will not do well on their verbal testing and their later job interviews. Blaming the teacher is an unjust excuse.

But I digress.

Lastly, never stop engaging in their culture even if you can’t stand it. Proudly announcing that you have no idea what your kids watch and listen to is proclaiming your negligence. The contemporary pop culture scene is not pretty. Gone are the days of the Go-Go’s and the Safety Dance. In their place is anger, class resentment, boredom and narcissism. Parents are dumb, rebellion is cute and there are never any consequences.

So says the media. It’s up to you to say otherwise but only if we know what they (and you) are talking about.

One final story. I came into the cafeteria and saw a student with her headphones. Scaring her, I ordered her to freeze and not touch a button on her iPod. Then I demanded her headphones and listened. It was a recording of the music from the Pope’s funeral – Gregorian chant. Doing the same with another student, it was a four-letter word plethora of profanity. The first student looked embarrassed, the second scared I would tell his parent’s.

Both reactions are sad. The first: because she was so extra-ordinary. The second: because it was so typical.

You have a fight on your hands. Be aware and look for the end result.